Making the decision to go to counselling is never easy but it can be even more nerve-wracking if you have no idea what to expect. However, knowing what you are signing up for can make it feel a lot less intimidating.
The first and most important thing to know is that nothing will be ‘done’ to you, I’m not a wizard, I don’t have any ‘special powers’; it’s just you and me in a quiet, calm and safe space, talking. And what we talk about it is completely up to you because this is your session. I might ask questions, I might offer a different perspective, but you are the judge of what feels right for you, not me.
So what’s the point you might ask? Well, it’s different than talking with your friends or family. How often do we get the opportunity to really talk about our deepest feelings with out worrying about being judged, or having to justify ourselves? As a counsellor, I’m not influenced by what others think or say, because I’m not part of it. I’m trained to listen and notice. My role is to be with you while we explore how it feels for you. Essentially, you can’t get it wrong!
But if it’s that simple, how can it make any difference? Because when we keep things in, the thoughts and feelings just swirl around and around and nothing gets resolved. By talking about it, saying things out loud, feelings can become clearer. Sometimes, it’s noticing the patterns in how we respond to things; sometimes it’s understanding where and how we’ve learnt to react in a certain way, and sometimes it’s recognising the impact how we feel about ourselves has on our lives.
And finding that understanding is the key to making changes. Everything is out in the open, you start to notice when feelings come up in situations instead of just automatically and unconsciously following the same patterns, and you start to believe in your ability to choose what is right for you.
If I was ruler of the world(!), everyone would go to counselling and have that time and space to be truly themselves, and to be accepted just as they are. What a world that would be.
